Opening scene: Romeo and two others (Benvolio and Mercutio) walking up stairs
Romeo: -so I was on her windowsill right? Literally dangling from the edge.
Benvolio: Really?
Romeo: Yeah. I can hear Rosaline's Nan talking to her about how college is going, and I'm 12 feet from falling rose bushes.
Mercutio: So what happened?
Romeo: Well... I fell.
Mercutio: From her window, or her favour?
*Romeo shoves Mercutio as he and Benvolio laugh*
*They walk up to the classroom door, Romeo exasperated, the other two still smiling*
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Scene two: A classroom with the whole cast in it - all but Prince sit in small groups (the Montague's and the Capulet's).
*everyone is talking loudly amongst themselves*
Prince *holding out hands in a placating manner*: Okay, Okay, quiet down. I know you guys haven't seen each other in a while, but we need to get on with this year's production. I think we should do Romeo and Juliet.
*collective groans*
Prince: Come on, there's actually an interesting discussion to be had here. Did the Bard write a comedy or tragedy?
Tybalt: Well it's obviously a tragedy. The two are in love.
*Benvolio starts to speak, but Romeo sees Julian, and everything begins to fade*
*The lens fisheyes, the camera zooms in on Julian*
*Time seems to slow as Julian turns to look at his friends*
*Tybalt throws something (a pen?) at Mercutio, and it breaks the moment. Time speeds back up, everything comes back into focus, and that thing that happens in army films when a flash bang - tinnitus noise, light too bright. everyone is arguing*
Benvolio: I don't get how you don't find this funny - two kids, and lets be clear, they weren't any older than 16, from families that hate each other for no good reason, are the two that end up together. Every character is stupid, apart from Mercutio, but he dies, so that gets ruined.
Tybalt: You're being ridiculous!
Benvolio: Nahhh, we're not listening to this. We'll do our own version.
*Benvolio pulls Romeo from the room as he looks around confused and bewildered - he catches Julian's eyes and he smiles*
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Scene 3: The trio stands outside a home, looking kind of awkward, but for Mercy, who looks perfectly at ease.
*one of Julian's friends opens the door*
Julian's Friend: *with enthusiasm* Mercy! *with much less enthusiasm, as they turn to the others* ...and you guys.
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Scene 4: Blank wall, maybe some decorations. Julian stands alone, looking rather bored.
*Romeo slides up, they start talking - we can't hear them, but we see them flirting*
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Scene 5: Romeo and Julian on a bench, sitting close
*Romeo puts his hand on the bench, face up. Julian looks down and smiles*
*close up of the hand as one closes around the other*
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Scene 6: Romeo sits alone in his room
*Romeo is on his phone, texting and smiling shyly*
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Scene 7: Julian sits alone in his room
*Julian is on his phone, texting and smiling shyly*
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Scene 8:Julian and Romeo under a tree
*The two look into each others eyes, and then kiss as music swells*
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Hi.. This script is far too short. You need to include more dialogue between the characters. Can you add some more information to your 'mise en scene' to help justify the tone you are setting.
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